‘I Cried When I Got Through Panel As A Single Parent’
There’s lots of myths about fostering – some bizarre, some perfectly understandable – and, at Mosaic Foster Care, we’ve heard them all countless times.
One of the most persistent is that you can’t be a foster parent if you’re on your own, that you need to provide the ‘model’ family experience in order to even be considered suitable foster parent material(opens in new tab).
Nothing could be further from the truth – and we can prove it.
Bev is single and in her 15th year as a Mosaic foster parent. She has had a foster child with her for 11 years who is currently 20 years old and remaining with her on a Staying Put(opens in new tab) arrangement.
Before she began fostering, Bev was working for a merchant bank – and then a chance conversation with a friend changed everything.
The conversation in the hairdresser’s that sparked a whole new chapter
Bev said: “My friend owned a hairdressing business and I went over there one day and she had a young lad working with her doing his work experience.
“It turned out he was being fostered by a single person. I was single and, up to that point, had no idea you could foster as a single person(opens in new tab) so I hadn’t really thought about it as an option but meeting that young person lit a spark.
“My hairdressing friend knew about fostering, she was doing a university dissertation through Mosaic Foster Care and so she contacted them and that was how it all started.
“I wasn’t really thinking about fostering because I was a single mum but I thought it would be a nice thing to do, it felt like a very natural thing to do as my boys were grown up by that point.”
Bev’s two sons were 25 and 23 at the time, with one of them still living at home. When Mosaic Foster Care went round to Bev’s house for an initial visit, there was an immediate issue – not enough bedrooms.
Bev said: “When the man from Mosaic came round, I suggested building a wall downstairs to create another room. As he left he said, ‘Build your wall’, so that felt like a strong indication I’d be accepted as a foster parent.
“When my son came home that day, I said to him, ‘You, my friend, have got to move out, I’m going to be a foster carer and I need your room!’.
“I was just winding him up, we built a room downstairs and that was that.”
From first enquiry to panel – Bev’s journey into fostering
Bev says her two sons (her youngest was away at university when she decided to foster) were ‘incredibly supportive’ of her decision. She started the process(opens in new tab), which took around nine months from start to finish. Nowadays, the process takes closer to five months.
“In the months leading up to the actual panel, you have an independent social worker coming round to speak to you,” Bev explained.
“They speak to your children and other family members, going into your past, they want to know everything about you, including how you brought up your own children.
“I had nothing to hide so it wasn’t a big deal but it is nerve-wracking because you’re going into areas you’ve never gone into before – who really ever thinks about their childhood in massive amounts of detail?
“It felt like a long time going through that initial process. They came to see me every week and all I was thinking was ‘When can I leave my job in the call centre and do something that’s worthwhile?’
“Not particularly enjoying my job made everything feel like it was taking longer, I started to think of my job as pointless because I was desperate to be doing something else.
“I never thought about it before, I just wanted to be a foster parent. Going through the initial process to actually get to be a carer really makes you realise how worthwhile a job it is.
“The panel(opens in new tab) was fine – it’s important prospective foster parents understand that. I was petrified and sweating but it is absolutely not scary. I cried when they said I’d done it.”
Why Bev chose to open her home to teenagers who needed a chance
As a single parent who had successfully nurtured two boys to adulthood, what made Bev go back to bringing a younger child up? After all, puberty, teenage angst, adolescence – it all requires deep wells of effort and understanding on the part of caregivers, especially if they are on their own and even more so when the child has trauma in their background.
Bev said: “Everyone knows when children are adolescents they can be difficult to deal with but my attitude has always been that they all deserve a chance, don’t they?
“They actually asked me specifically how I felt about having a teenager and that was my mindset – if I won’t give them a chance then who will?
“Now I’ve got younger children but at the time the first boy I had was 15 when he arrived here, a tricky age for a boy.
“So as a single person it was a big deal for me but I had the support of my sons and other people around me and he stayed three years, that young man.”
Why no foster parent should ever feel they’re facing challenges alone
One thing that could worry a prospective single foster parent is having to deal with a difficult situation on your own, with no-one else to ask or bounce ideas off.
Because of the constant level of support offered by Mosaic Foster Care(opens in new tab), that has not been a concern for Bev.
She said: “For a start, you have ongoing training throughout the whole thing. We’ve always got our training to fall back on when things get tough. And that training never gets boring or repetitive by the way, there’s always something new to learn, even after 15 years of doing this!
“But when the training isn’t helping you in the moment there’s always someone there for you – and this is where Mosaic is so brilliant. There’s always somebody to talk to.
“If you’re upset about something or not sure what to do next, you can just phone them up and they will help you.
“Mosaic is an organisation of terrific people but that broadens out into other carers who we get to know well and who share the same sort of experiences.
“That goes so deep, as a single person I couldn’t do it without that wider community. I’ve seen it with other foster carers not connected to an agency like Mosaic, they have none of the support we get.
“Nobody ‘gets it’ other than other foster parents, some of the things we experience and see – you can’t talk about that stuff to other people who have not lived through it.
“People might think that because they’ve had kids they know all about it – but it’s not the same.”
Fifteen years down the line – why Bev still values Mosaic’s training and support
Mosaic Foster Care’s training(opens in new tab) aims to keep foster parents informed and engaged as new ideas, policies and ways of thinking emerge year after year. After 15 years, does Bev feel like she’s seen it all now?
“The training never gets boring and Mosaic are very good at making sure everything we are told is relevant and interesting.
“Sometimes I think I’ll never remember the training when it comes to needing it. Maybe it’s a personal thing – you can tell me something one minute and the next minute I won’t know what you’re talking about.
“But when you are a foster parent it just comes back to you and the longer you do it, the better the training sinks in.”
As a single foster parent, Bev has faced many daunting situations on her own. She says her experiences – alongside the training provided by Mosaic Foster Care – have hardened her to the realities of fostering.
Bev said: “It can be tough when the young person leaves your life but that’s the job isn’t it? It’s like doctors, nurses, firefighters – they work very closely with people, even saving their lives, but then they might never see them again.
“It’s different to your own kids. This is a job and, like any job, there are rules and procedures to follow and they’re the same whether you’re a couple or a single parent.
“I had a boy with me once who had problems and he came toward me but I won’t back down. I dealt with it. I’ve learned how to de-escalate, how to restrain, it’s all learned behaviour that comes through the training Mosaic provides and helps you deal with situations like that.
“We’re very lucky with Mosaic because we’ve got so much support wrapped around us – being single doesn’t really come into it.”
Frequently asked questions about fostering
What is a foster parent?
A foster parent or carer provides a safe, nurturing family home for a child who cannot live with their birth parents. They offer care, love, protection, stability and everyday support. Unlike adoption, fostering does not usually make the carer the child’s legal guardian, although they take responsibility for many day-to-day decisions.
What are the requirements to be a foster parent?
To foster with Mosaic Foster Care, you must usually be at least 21, have the legal right to live and work in the UK and have a suitable spare bedroom. You can be single or in a relationship, rent or own your home and have children or no parenting experience. We will assess your circumstances, support network and ability to provide safe, stable care.
How long does fostering last?
Fostering can be temporary, lasting days, weeks or months, or it can continue for many years. At Mosaic Foster Care, we specialise in long-term therapeutic foster care, helping children who cannot return to their birth family grow up in one consistent home. The length of each placement depends on the child’s needs, welfare and care plan.
What training is needed for foster parents?
You do not need formal qualifications or previous care experience. We provide Skills to Foster training before approval, followed by ongoing training and guidance. This covers areas such as safeguarding, child development, attachment, behaviour, trauma and safer caring, helping you feel prepared and supported throughout your fostering journey.
Do foster parents get paid?
Yes. Our foster carers receive a minimum of £600 per week, increasing to £700+ after completing training. The payment includes an allowance toward the child’s everyday needs and a fee recognising the foster carer’s professional role, skills, commitment and responsibility.
What age children can I foster?
At Mosaic Foster care, we typically work with children and young people aged between five and 17 and provide fostering placements up to age 18. The age of the foster child you are approved for will depend on your assessment, family circumstances, experience and preferences. Careful matching helps us find the right placement for both the child and foster family.
How do foster parents support children emotionally?
Foster parents offer consistent routines, calm boundaries, empathy and compassion. They listen, provide reassurance and help children understand difficult feelings and experiences. Bonding and trust can take time, so our social workers, therapists and wider support team are there to help you understand and respond to each child’s emotional needs.
Are there legal responsibilities for foster parents?
Yes. Foster carers must protect the child’s safety and welfare, follow safeguarding guidance, keep records, attend meetings and work with social workers and other professionals. The placement plan explains which decisions you can make and which remain with the local authority or someone with parental responsibility. We will provide guidance throughout the placement.
Who decides when a child leaves foster care?
Usually, the child’s local authority leads the decision based on their care plan. The child’s wishes should be considered, alongside input from their foster carers, birth family, social worker and other professionals. In some circumstances, a court will make or approve the decision. Foster carers do not decide alone but they should be involved and given time to help the child prepare for any planned move.
Where is the best place to start if I’m interested in fostering?
The best place to start is by speaking to our team at Mosaic Foster Care. We can provide clear information and advice about the role, assessment, approval, training, payments and support available. There is no obligation to continue and we will help you decide whether fostering is the right commitment for you and your family.