“Life as foster parent is up and down – that’s why you need the support’
Frances and David Wilson began fostering with Mosaic Foster Care later in family life, welcoming Megan into their home when she was five. Fourteen years on, she has grown up as part of their family and is now finding her feet at university – a milestone that reflects just how far she has come.
Frances Wilson had thought about fostering long before she ever made the call to Mosaic Foster Care.
It was one of those conversations that had lived in the background of family life for years. She and her husband David had talked about it before they had children and again when their own children were young but the timing never felt quite right.
They had a daughter and a son, and Frances was clear that they did not want to do anything that might disrupt those relationships while their children were still little.
Then, years later, something small nudged the idea back to the surface.
“We got complimentary tickets to see a film which deals with fostering called The Blind Side,” she said. “My daughter had just gone off to university, so she was 18, our son was 14, and we came out of the cinema and my husband reminded me again, he said it’s still not too late if we were considering fostering. And that started the ball rolling.”
They began looking around. Mosaic Foster Care was still relatively new at the time. Frances remembers not feeling certain but that did not stop them starting the process.
“We were unsure whether we still wanted to do it. And we just thought, well, if we don’t start the journey, which at that time took about a year (in 2026 it is more like five months), we’ll never really know whether we want to do it or not.”
Starting the fostering process without pressure
That first year did not feel intimidating in the way some prospective foster parents might expect. For Frances, one of the reasons it felt manageable was that she never saw it as something looking to trip her up.
“It was fine. We really enjoyed the whole process. We knew it was likely to take up to a year and we hadn’t committed to anything during that time. So there was no fear there.”
She still thinks that is an important point for anyone considering fostering now.
“If people don’t want to do it through fear, then if they just take it on with the idea that they can just back out at any point if it’s not right for them. But we found it very interesting. And I think if you’re interested in fostering, you are going to find the process interesting.”
Even the thought of facing the fostering panel (where your approval as a foster parent is considered, a time many prospective foster parents worry about), was not something Frances found daunting.
“I feel if you’re really, really passionate about it, which we both were, then that was quite an enjoyable process because you’re not trying to hide anything. You’re just talking about what your passion is about and what you want to do.”
At the time, Frances was not working and David had recently sold his company and was working from home, so they were both available to give the role the time it needed. That mattered, especially later.
Meeting their foster child Megan
The child they were eventually introduced to was Megan, who was five.
Frances remembers that meeting process was not rushed – there were proper introductions and time to learn Megan’s story.
Frances said: “They said they had somebody they thought would be a really good match. She was just five when we were introduced to Megan. We had two meetings, an initial introduction when she didn’t know who we were at all and then we had a second introduction. Then we took her out for a couple of times.”
Mosaic was looking for a long-term foster family for her, which was exactly what Frances and David wanted too.
“We wanted to be her forever home.”
Megan moved in March, 2012. She is still very much part of the family today.
What daily life looked like at the beginning
Frances remembers Megan as very withdrawn. There was no shouting or anger. Just a quiet, watchful girl, deeply affected by what had happened to her.
“She was very withdrawn, had some funny little traits with her things, everything was lined up.”
One of the clearest memories she has is the way Megan would line her toys along the doorway if Frances was in the room.
“That was her way of saying that she didn’t want me to go out of the door.”
Megan was physically tiny and emotionally much younger than her age, so Frances leaned into the nurturing she felt was needed.
“I would just walk around with her the whole time on my hip. She was in a highchair and reverted to a lot of baby-like traits. We went backwards to make progress. As time went on she needed those things less, started to move forward and then things started to progress.”
The support that matters when life is not neat
Frances is always honest about the fact fostering is not a polished experience.
When Megan was young, nights were not as difficult as Frances had expected. The bigger challenges came later.
Frances said: “When we did have some niggly problems when she became a teenager, we always had someone to call at Mosaic Foster Care and they were always there for support.
“But the wider community was also really important. There’s a group of us mums that regularly meet for lunch. Sometimes it’s nice to have those informal conversations with the only other people who really understand what it’s like to walk in your shoes.”
She talks about the Mosaic Foster Care Christmas meal each year with real affection, not just because it is a social event everyone connected with Mosaic looks forward to but because it has become a place where foster parents can speak openly with people who understand.
“You sit around that table and it’s so therapeutic, we all end up talking about our children.
“Having other foster parents as a sounding board is really, really helpful. I would say probably my biggest support, apart from my husband.”
The harder years of fostering
Frances’ fostering journey was not simply a story of steady progress from one breakthrough to the next.
There was never a point, she says, where the family ‘turned a corner’ with Megan.
Frances explained: “I think you have moments like that, we certainly did. But then something else goes wrong and you immediately think, ‘can I deal with this?’.
“That’s when you need the support.”
Megan became harder to care for in her teenage years and Frances and David felt the pressure.
Frances explained: “There was never a question that we would let her go, even when she became difficult between the ages of 14 to 17.
“I did feel trapped. I will be completely honest with you. I did feel very trapped at times. And it did affect my mental health quite badly.
“It nearly broke me. Mosaic’s team are honest in times like that. They always look for additional support first – and by the time you’ve had somebody for that length of time, how do you let them go when they have had so much hurt in the first place?”
Supportive care, breathing space and knowing when you need help
Frances also speaks openly about something else that prospective foster parents can sometimes feel awkward saying out loud – the need for a break.
In Megan’s first two years with them, Frances and David chose not to use supportive (respite) care at all. They felt it was important to bring her fully into family life and help her feel secure. Looking back, Frances is not sure that was always the right decision for them.
“For the first two years, we took nothing, probably to our own detriment, really. It was an intense period.
“Later, we did start using it and by then it was needed. But Megan questioned why she was not included. We needed rest but rest can create its own emotional knock-on effects for a child who had already experienced instability.
“So again, it’s a bit of a mixture because you want the respite, but then it can make the placement a little bit more unstable because the child questions why you have respite.
“I think you need breathers along the way, the support that’s offered is there for a reason.”
Why long-term really means long-term
One of the most striking parts of Frances’ story is how clearly she sees the difference between saying a child is part of your family and then living out what that means as they get older.
She says one of the biggest stumbling blocks in fostering comes at 18. Not because relationships suddenly disappear but because systems, funding and expectations can change in ways that feel out of step with family life.
Frances added: “The message we gave to Megan all along was that we were going to keep her. That can be an issue for some foster families who cannot afford to give up the salary when the child turns 18.
“I’ve always been immensely proud of how resilient she’s been and how she has wanted to be part of our home, I think because she knew it was long term and that we weren’t going to get rid of her at 18.”
Frances was diagnosed with breast cancer during the early years of the placement and faced treatment while continuing to care for Megan at home.
Frances said: “Mosaic did ask us at that time if we wanted to keep Megan but we decided to keep hold of her. We didn’t want her to feel vulnerable and excluded, that’s the last thing we wanted.”
Looking back, Frances is clear it was the right decision for Megan but it also reinforced how much fostering can ask of you during the most difficult periods of your own life.
Watching Megan step into adult life
Today, Megan is at university.
She did not immediately want to go. She had thought about an apprenticeship and when university became a possibility, she wanted to stay close to home at first. The family encouraged her gently, without forcing the pace.
Frances explained: “She took the accommodation, even if she didn’t want to use it initially.
“She stayed for one night for the first week, then she went back for her second lecture at the end of the week and then the following week, stayed a couple of nights and gradually that has increased to just coming home at the weekends.
“What we wanted was a new set of friends for her, a new life and to have this as a second life, which is ideally what you want with university.
“We are immensely proud of Megan. I’m really proud of her resilience. She’s a little powerhouse.”
Why Frances still believes it is worth starting
For all the honesty in Frances’ story and all the difficult parts she does not gloss over, she would still encourage others to explore fostering and gather as much information as they can.
“If you’re unsure about doing it, then try the process because you can always back out within that first period before a young person comes to you.
“If somebody’s thinking of going into it, they’ve got to be armed with as much as possible, they need the full picture.
“They need to think very carefully about the future, about when that child becomes 16.
“Then, over the course of a couple of years, they have to start doing things at the age of 18 which remind them that they are not this direct member of the family as much as you want to keep them that way.
“So there is a different line you have to go down to your own children. And I think you need to think carefully about that.
“Fostering is not something you can just hit head on and expect everything to go smoothly. But with an organisation like Mosaic Foster Care in your corner, you stand the best possible chance.”
About Mosaic Foster Care
Mosaic Foster Care is an independent fostering agency providing Ofsted Outstanding rated therapeutic foster care across Essex, Suffolk, Bedfordshire including Milton Keynes, Hertfordshire, North Kent, Northamptonshire and Worcestershire. Our mission is to ensure every child in our care thrives in a stable, nurturing home. We achieve this by providing long-term foster placements and by carefully matching children and foster parents. We keep caseloads small and embed in-house professionally delivered therapy and youth support into everyday practice – so no child is ever left waiting for the critical support they need. Foster parents receive more than £700 per week after training and benefit from ongoing professional development, and a community that truly understands the rewards and challenges of fostering.