Building Trust and Forming an Attachment With Your Foster Child

Fostering a child is wonderful but complex, often filled with a level of distrust, and attachment is a key aspect when a child comes into care. Understanding attachment is essential for all foster parents, as this differs greatly from the relationship between child and birth parent. Attachment theory identifies four major styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganised. Each of these can influence how the child interacts with the parent and reflect trauma in their childhood experiences.

Forming an Attachment With Your Foster Child - Understanding Attachment Styles

Based on the idea that our attachment styles reflect our infancy and childhood, we can explore the different styles to improve caregiving, promote healing, and foster meaningful connections. Below are four examples.

Secure Attachment: Children with a secure attachment feel safe and confident about their environment and emotional support from a caregiver helps them explore their environment and try new experiences.

Anxious Attachment: Anxious attachment in children, also known as ambivalent attachment, is a type of insecure attachment that develops when a child’s caregivers are inconsistent in their responsiveness. This means that sometimes the caregivers are attentive and nurturing, while at other times they may be emotionally unavailable or unresponsive. This inconsistency can lead to the child feeling uncertain about whether their needs will be met, causing them to become anxious.

Avoidant Attachment: Avoidant children may seem detached or indifferent to caregivers. This behaviour often stems from past experiences where seeking help or comfort was discouraged. Foster parents should strive to create a safe and non-judgemental space where the child feels comfortable expressing their emotions. Using play to facilitate bonding can be particularly effective.

Disorganised Attachment: Children who are confused about how to react to their caregivers often fall into this group. Disorganised attachment is a hybrid of avoidant and anxious behaviours in which a child might enthusiastically run to meet the returning parent, then dart back or make an effort to gain momentary, intimate physical contact. Interactions with these children are often unpredictable and trust must be established with them on many levels – starting with stability and safety, and consistently feeling warmly received emotionally.

Strategies for Building Trust and Forming An Attachment With Your Foster Child

Building trust and forming an attachment with a foster child requires time, patience, and a deep understanding of individual needs. It's a journey that may have its ups and downs, but the rewards are immeasurable. Here are some strategies that may help foster a positive relationship:

• Consistency is Key: Foster children thrive in environments that provide stability. Be consistent in routines, rules, and responses to emotional needs. This predictability helps nurture a greater sense of security, allowing the child to feel safe and supported as they navigate their new surroundings.
• Active Listening: Show genuine interest in the child’s thoughts and feelings. Make it a point to validate their emotions and experiences while maintaining open lines of communication. This not only fosters trust but also encourages them to express themselves more freely, knowing they are valued.
• Engage in Activities: Spend quality time together through shared activities. This could range from playing games, cooking, or engaging in arts and crafts. Such activities provide opportunities for bonding without pressure and help the child relax and enjoy the moment, further solidifying your relationship.
• Encourage Expression: Allow children to express their feelings in safe ways. This might include journaling, art, or simply talking together. Acknowledging their feelings can make them feel heard and respected, ultimately helping them process their emotions in a healthy manner.
• Seek Professional Support: If attachment issues persist or the child struggles significantly, collaborating with therapists who specialise in attachment-related issues can be vital. These professionals can provide strategies and support for both the child and the foster carer, so everyone involved has the tools they need to succeed.
• Practise Patience and Empathy: Each child’s journey is unique. Understanding their background and exhibiting empathy in challenging moments can establish a trusting relationship. Celebrate small milestones in their development to encourage further progress. Using positive reinforcement for their achievements, no matter how minor, can instil confidence and reinforce the bond you’re building together.

Building a secure attachment is a gradual process, but with commitment and compassion, it can lead to a meaningful and lasting connection.

Get Involved with Mosaic Foster Care

By comprehending the unique challenges associated with different attachment styles, foster parents can equip themselves with the tools necessary to build strong, trusting relationships. Creating a safe and supportive environment is pivotal; ultimately, this can lead to meaningful attachments that significantly enhance the foster child's overall development and emotional well-being.

If you're ready to make a difference in a child's life and feel inspired to become a foster parent, consider joining Mosaic Foster Care. We offer comprehensive training, support, and resources to help you on the rewarding yet challenging journey of fostering. As part of our community, you'll gain insights from experienced carers, connect with supportive networks, and play a key role in shaping the future for children in need.

Contact us today to learn about the application process and how you can start making a positive impact. Together, we can build trust and foster meaningful connections that promote healing and growth.