The E in SMILE

Environment

Trauma, and particularly trauma which occurs within relationships, is characterised by unpredictability and a lack of control. Children who have experienced Adverse Childhood Experiences often operate from a fear-based world view and therefore find it difficult to trust any caregiver.

High structure through consistent boundaries, held in place by nurturing yet firm parents, is something the child can depend on. Over time, the child experiences this structure as dependable and predictable; the opposite of their previous experiences.

High structure can seem quite cold and clinical which is why the careful balance of high structure AND high nurture is so important. Often children’s experience, which is imprinted on their brain and view of the world, is that they are not lovable or liked. So often, lots of nurture is at odds with the child’s experience and they can seemingly push away. However, over time and with the right balance, the child’s experience of high nurture does begin to change their perception.

No foster parent is perfect but with the support of your social worker and therapist, we find that our foster parents get the balance just right!